that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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