I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
