Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Who died my cat blue again?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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