I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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