He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
