Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
