guys are not supposed to queef...right?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
