I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
