Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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