there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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