The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
