mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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