she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
