I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
