He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
