You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
