Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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