I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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