so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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