oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
