I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
