Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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