Whoa Z and x make the same sound
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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