god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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