I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
