I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
