I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
