I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
