He felt like a one man threesome
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
