After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
