So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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