my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
