I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
