Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
