I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
