Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
