At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
