It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
