I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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