Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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