That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
