When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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