is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
