Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
