Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize