She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
