I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
