GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
