"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
