Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
