I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just google imaged poop.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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