Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
